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  • 2010 October 28
    From the daily archives: Thursday, October 28, 2010

    I always look twice when I see a woman with very short hair.  I wonder….

    When I was wearing my bucket hat with the “cancer sucks” button on it, I was occasionally approached by survivors who wanted to encourage me.  I appreciated that every time, especially the ones who had finished with treatments some time before who looked healthy and well.  When I’m in an environment where I know it’s ok, I do that as well and it is well received.

    When it seems so but I’m not sure, I don’t ask but I want to.  I want to know if she’s part of the been to planet cancer club.  I’m not sure why I want to know but I do.

    The cancer experience changed me irrevocably.  I would not have chosen such a method to create such deep change, but my life is very different and much better.  People sometimes ask me if I am glad it happened.  If I had a guarantee that it wouldn’t bite me again, my answer would be an unequivocal yes, even though I am missing an appendage and wear a compression sleeve on my left arm.

    It is so hard to explain how this is so to people who haven’t had to face it, and it’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

    That handsome woman there with the chic, outrageous short hair might just be another member of the club I never wanted to join, and she might not…

    I guess I’ll never know.

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