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    From the daily archives: Saturday, November 20, 2010

    Thursday, April 12, 2007 10:35 AM, CDT

    Things are looking up! Today is better in general, because I got a really great sleep last night. Amazing how the busy little people dont encourage sleep. They don’t want to go to bed, but they’re ready to go bright and early. I slept in this morning, what a joy!

    Neulasta at 10:00, ONLY HALF, HOORAY! The neulasta is what causes the most misery to me. It’s a growth hormone, and it gives my bone marrow orders to crank out large quantities of white blood cells. The day I get the shot I feel all kinds of churning going on in there, and then my bones start to hurt. By the next day I feel as if I’m made of lead.

    This time I’m ready with everything I need to stay comfortable. I have been very resistant to taking all the medicine I am given for side effects, because I’m just not a medication person… I like to try to get things in balance first, and then try meds. I’ve had to turn that upside down and get proactive. I went through the list with Grace (Dr. Brown’s assistant) and I’ll take what I need in full, before I’m miserable.

    Maybe I’ll just sail through this one!

    It’s a beautiful day. I think I’ll play in the garden a little, after I have some on Donna’s delicious quiche for lunch. Donna, I was so motivated I ate two pieces last night! Thanks again, so much.

    Now there are some photos, courtesy of Steve mostly. I gave him my password and carte blanche to put what he likes on there. I haven’t deleted anything yet… thanks Steve!

    On to a quiet day, no need to push myself at all, just try and be comfortable and be grateful that my side effects can be managed. The less I resist it, the easier it is.

    That timely reminder came from my Uncle Dave, my father’s brother. My dad fought cancer and lost, many years ago, when he was 44. He had a vicious lymphoma that had metastasized by the time he was diagnosed. Dave has been in closer contact with me lately, in my court 100%. He’s a recoverd alcoholic with 20 years’ sobriety behind him, and quite a resource on putting one foot in front of the other.

    I told him that gratitude is what keeps me going, day after day. I asked him if this one of the things that kept him sober. He responded, yes indeed, and the other thing is acceptance. Good words. One can waste so much energy fighting what is! I am learning to conserve my energy to use to heal myself. It is frustrating to be weak and sick, but it’s what is right now. I accept it as neccessary to send my cancer away for good.

    Peace to all, and thanks. It’s going to be a decent day. A decent day during a round of chemo is a fabulous thing.

    Love, E

    Current time Postscript:

    This was in fact the easiest infusion for me, and the ones after were also easier in general although the cumulative effects of the chemotherapy got worse.  There’s a science to this!  More tomorrow….

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