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  • 2010 December 18
    From the daily archives: Saturday, December 18, 2010

    Wednesday, April 18, 2007 12:46 PM, CDT
    Feeling anxious and discouraged today. I guess I get to have a bad day sometimes… could be worse. I’m nervous about the next infusion, and I’m tired of it all. I’ll be getting infused every darned week, and I am not enthused.

    Improv was great last night! Worth saving my energy for. I was lucky to get to go, because the children’s father is out of town and he usually keeps the kids on Improv night. My wonderful neighbors, Becky and James, took over so I could go. Thank you, thank you! Improv is therapy. I’ll keep going even if I just watch! Fortunately last night I played.

    I’ll see Dr. Brown today, and maybe she can ease my fears. I just don’t know how my body is going to react to these chemicals. Once I have it behind me it will not be so bad… Flo says the anticipation is much worse than the real thing. I’m also discouraged because I will still get herceptin every 3 weeks after the rest of chemo is done, until it’s been a year. That’s next April! It seems like such a long time to wait to feel really well.

    There’s my whine for the day. I’m still lucky when I consider the alternative!

    My Aunt Darlene is coming today for a few days. No doubt she’ll cheer me up!

    Love,
    Elizabeth

    ***

    Present time postscript:
    Dr. Brown confirmed at the time of this writing that the cancer was in retreat, which made all the difference. It was timely right now, after how I’ve had a fear recurrence, to be reminded of how well chemotherapy went well for me.

    I wonder, does the fear ever go away for good? I would like it to, because it is unproductive.
    Seeking the formula…

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