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    From the daily archives: Wednesday, August 10, 2011

    I’ve had a few of those this month, but tomorrow is the one I’ve really been looking forward to. My boy, who has been away all summer at wilderness camp, is coming home. We are going to fetch him tomorrow. We fly to Portland, then travel to Albany, spend the night and get the boy on Friday. I’ve missed my teenager. I’ve really missed him.

    Then, the train home. I absolutely love the train, love it like a crazy train-traveling fool. I’d rather train than cruise, fly or anything else. Watching the world go by, being rocked to sleep as we travel through the mountains, eating in the dining car, I love it all. Tom and I will get to enjoy our boy for a leisurely 16 hours before we’re back into the city life. The poor kid starts high school in two days. I think he’ll probably go crazy for trees. The train will be his pause that refreshes, as well as mine. His sister will see him when he gets home. It is a bit unfortunate that she will be turning 12 on the same day he is done with camp, alas. Oh well, she gets two great parties, not bad for a tween!

    Lately a lot of things to write about are floating around in my head. Many of them have nothing to do with cancer. This site is a resource site first, and I have been floundering around now for nearly a year trying to figure out how to make it one. My sojourn at Camp Medicine Wheel brought some clarity to this vision, and I am actually eager for summer to end and the regular routine to begin so I can seriously get to work. All the same, if it were not for being committed to advocacy and hope, I could really forget about cancer most days. I am beginning to separate it from myself, as I identify more with being a mom, being a massage therapist, being a teacher, artist and writer, being someone who really, really enjoys my life.

    The thing is, for me I can be all that and in the back of my mind and spirit is the awareness that it can change. For so many it does. I don’t dwell on it, but I know it. Even if it were not so, the exhaustion of my days in treatment, the shock of my diagnosis, the monstrous game of chicken that was the battle between the treatments and the cancer, all of that is something that no one should go through alone, ever.

    So, my posts will likely change for now. Sometimes I will forget all about cancer. That’s a relief.
    Sometimes I won’t. There are too many people I care about who are dealing with it. Even if I want to forget about it, it’s in my face.

    But the rest of the site, the part that is not the blog? Never.

    And, I have to think that normalcy in itself is a fabulous message. I know that when I was bald and sick, normalcy was the hope I was holding onto as I pushed through.

    I’ll never take normal for granted again!

    P.S., just posted at Everyday Health about the healing power of the wilderness. I’m so appreciating that today!

     
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