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  • 2011 August 15
    From the daily archives: Monday, August 15, 2011

    It’s late, my eyes are bleary, but I had to make the change and post the scoop…

    Lately I’ve felt a bit at a loss about what I am wanting to write about. The comment from my dear Aunt Darlene pointed out to me how much more !*&# I have survived than cancer…that is, cancer is not the only hard knock I have to write about, just the most recent (and the nastiest) one! Being a cancer survivor has changed me, and facing that particular hard knock has been the defining paradigm shift in my life. To face it squarely I had to look hard at the big picture of my life of hard knocks and resilience. I had to dig deep for all my resources.

    Graduating from school doesn’t mean it you’re done. It means your qualified, you’re an expert.

    I am an expert at surviving and bouncing back, and sometimes I think I look at the world completely sideways and that’s ok. I like it. I’ve completed graduate school, and like any decent scholar I intend to continue exploring new developments in my area of expertise. I will continue to write about cancer, fighting it, curing it, getting through it. I’ll also write about whatever seems relevant to surfing the crazy life waves and staying on until they break.

    I’m up late because I had a writing deadline. I am beginning to indulge more in this passion of mine, to write. It took me until I am nearly 50 to discover that I love to write! As my unquenchable son would say, who knew?

    Yet another delightful discovery. I probably wouldn’t have figured it out if I hadn’t had that nasty cancer to write about.

    And for the record, even if that nasty beast were to come back I’m still a survivor and I still got my diploma. I’m an expert, remember? Another hard knock and I’ll know what to do, although I like to think I’ve had my fair share for one lifetime. Right now I’m good. Right now I am having days when I don’t think about cancer. I used to dream of having those days.

    I’m incoherent, I need to go to bed….

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