And for Linda, and for Pat, and others who have asked. It’s so hard to know where to start with Complementary Therapies! My first thought when I was diagnosed was that I would use all the big guns my oncologist recommended, and all the big guns from the Complementary Therapies arsenal. At the time I [...]
And for Linda, and for Pat, and others who have asked. It’s so hard to know where to start with Complementary Therapies! My first thought when I was diagnosed was that I would use all the big guns my oncologist recommended, and all the big guns from the Complementary Therapies arsenal. At the time I was diagnosed, I had been a full time professional Massage Therapist for nearly 20 years. I knew all about complementary therapies, but I had been neglecting myself, badly. I wasn’t just a wounded healer. I had been limping for a long time. I had just emerged from an awful divorce, huge work stress (the hospital where I worked was downsizing, and the pressure was on!), and my children were suffering. They were 7 and 9. I knew something had to give, but I didn’t really know how to get out of the quicksand I was in.
When I got the diagnosis, I knew I had to fight and fight hard. I decided that I had an opportunity to heal my whole life, and that embracing that task would give me the best chance to survive. I sought healing of body, mind and spirit, and most importantly to mend the rifts between them. The word “congruence” was my operative word, and still is. So, my take on complementary therapies is really an approach rather than just a list of modalities. having said that, I pretty much used them all!
My practices for myself:
1. Say “yes” when anyone offered help. Accept with gratitude. Believe that I deserved the help and that giving it was a blessing to the ones who offered.
2. Put myself first, for the first time ever in my life, no matter who it upset. I was fighting for my life, and I knew it. A total stranger told me to do this, and I believed her.
3. Actively and deliberately sought my own happiness. It took awhile to figure out what that looked like.
4. Made a decision to stop beating myself up, period. Nothing was gained by my perfectionism, and I was beating myself down. Now I question my tendency to self blame, and if I find something that needs to change, I take note and move on.
I had to rely on #1 a lot, because I was not in a financial position to pay for everything I received. Still, I accepted it, and it all helped, more than the sum of it’s parts. Here’s my list:
1. Massage Therapy. I received a massage once a week while I was receiving chemotherapy. My colleagues at the hospital did this for me voluntarily, on their own time. I will always be deeply grateful for this.
2. Healing Touch. I received this through a Stanford University study called Healing Partners. I received one session per week for six months.
3. Acupuncture. My mom offered to pay for this because she knew it would help. I was a struggling single mom when I went on this journey so I did not have the funds to do this. I received acupuncture once every two weeks.
4. Guided Imagery. I believe this had a huge impact on my treatment. I used it to keep my blood cell counts up, to maximize the effectiveness of my treatments, and for healing after the treatments were over. I’ve already written a short article about that on the pages for Complementary Therapies. Excellent Guided Imagery CD’s and MP3 downloads are available from Health Journeys.
5. Support: I went to an Art and Imagery support group. This was a combination of Guided Imagery and using art therapeutically. It was very helpful. That program closed at the hospital and I really miss it. I also found my Caringbridge site to be a huge source of support.
6. Counseling. Fortunately for me, this was available through California Cancer Care where I received my treatments.
7. Laughter! I didn’t do “laughter therapy” (whatever that is…I haven’t tried Laughter Yoga but I have a friend who’s into it and loves it) but at the time I was diagnosed I had been attending a comedy improv class every week, and I made sure to continue. I timed my chemotherapy so I would be up for my class, and I didn’t miss a single one! Even after my surgery, I couldn’t play, but I could watch. I’m convinced that laughing my head off every week was very good for me.
8. Exercise is very important! I took advantage of the “Living Strong, Living Well” program at my local YMCA and did weights, cardiovascular exercise, and whatever else seemed like fun. I also did yoga at home, and some chi gong. I had a couple of videos and they worked well for me. I have a chi gong video that offers a 10 minute sequence for cleansing, called simply “chi gong for cleansing”. I am convinced that my complete recovery from surgery with my range of motion intact is because I did yoga.
9. Nutrition: My doctor told me, “Eat what looks good to you”. I wanted to be a martinet about what I ate, but I had decided to accept all help so I indulged in comfort food when it was offered. What I did do is create a smoothie that covered all the bases, and I had that every day during chemotherapy. Now I’m a bit more careful, but not super strict. I find the information on “Food for Breast Cancer” useful and I read the research they publish.
10. Cultivate hope, actively. I read everything I could get my hands on about recovering. The book “Remarkable Recovery” was my constant companion. I read the stories over and over, especially if I was feeling worn out by it all. The gist of what I got from it was that beating the odds was about doing it how you do it best, and it’s different for all of us.
11. Self expression and creativity. Everybody has her own way to do this. I found blogging, and loved it. I also got tons of support online, which was a huge help. I picked up a paint brush for the first time in 20 years or so. As I went through radiation, I was also rehearsing for a musical, again for the first time in 20 years. For you it may not be this sort of stuff, it may be something else, but whatever it is, it makes your spirit hum! If you’ve forgotten what that is, it’s time to discover it again!
12. Prayer. Whenever anyone offered to pray for me, I said yes, by all means please do! Acknowledging that my life was worth praying for, and allowing total strangers to pray for me (I was on a ton of prayer lists) was an important act of self love. There is research that supports the effectiveness of prayer, and I believe deeply that true self love sets all kinds of positive cellular happenings in motion.
13. Substitute “Feel Everything” for “stay positive”. I heard that stay positive stuff all the time from well meaning people. Being a Pollyanna does not help. Neither does denial. What does help is honoring what you feel, give it expression, and keep things moving. I didn’t elevate my lousy mood by pretending I didn’t have it. I blogged, “feel like crap, going to bed” and then later absorbed the messages of hope from my friends on my guestbook. I cried my way through a few infusions, and then felt better. After I cried I could make art or settle into my warm bed with some hot chocolate. Everything is allowed!
There’s my first stab at it ladies, for my dear IBC sisters and anyone else this may help. If you have any questions about what’s here so far, or want me to elaborate some more, please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. What you tell me you want is what will be in Part Two. In the meantime, I am sleuthing out links and resources.
I hope this helps!
You can find all kinds of information on the web, and in your doctor’s office, about what chemicals you are being treated with and what they might do to you. Chemotherapy at first struck dread into me, thinking about what it would do to my body. I wanted to do the things I had always [...]
You can find all kinds of information on the web, and in your doctor’s office, about what chemicals you are being treated with and what they might do to you.
Chemotherapy at first struck dread into me, thinking about what it would do to my body. I wanted to do the things I had always done, to try to minimize the harm and keep my body in balance throughout, at least as much as I could.
Chemotherapy is a wild, crazy wave, and my job was to ride the crest of it until it broke. Certainly I wanted to protect my healthy cells, but I wanted those chemicals to knock the %*@!! out of the cancer that was threatening my life. It was a battle for control of my body. It was a game of chicken between those purple ewoks and wookies and the angry little bald man. My body was the stage for this drama. Never mind balance, that didn’t apply here!
I understood that uninterrupted treatment was the key to my survival. By the fourth infusion, I finally understood that to stay on that wave I had to be as comfortable as possible. Steroids with the infusion, ativan at night. Pain killers, anti nausea medicine, laxatives, stool softeners, all my normal bodily functions had to be slapped around to keep me on that wave. I had a vicious cancer, and one delayed treatment for whatever reason would give it a chance to bounce back.
When I finally understood that this was the way of it, my strategy became very clear. Stay on the crest of that wave, don’t fall off, support my body under the onslaught, and let every ounce of energy I had be harnessed to assist the treatment.
The first big breakthrough was, pain and discomfort leads to stress, which weakens the body more. By the fourth infusion I was taking all the meds they gave me, at the first hint that I might need them. The more comfortable I was, the more my body could use the energy I had to fight the beast.
I conserved my energy for the same reason. I did things I loved, like walking, improv, reading, puttering outside. Things that were an energy drain I declined, and people who were toxic to me I kept out of my space, sometimes with help from others.
I said yes constantly, as I have discussed in another post. When people wanted to pray, bring food, take care of my children, or tidy my home, I welcomed it all. I also said no, just as consistently, to anything that would use my precious, limited energy for something that was not important to me. Saying yes opened my heart. Saying no taught me to trust myself.
I used complementary therapies to minimize side effects, and to protect my healthy cells as much as I could. I used imagery to protect my heart, to watch the tumors shrink, to build white blood cells and hemoglobin. I never had to miss a treatment because of low blood counts.
Dr. Brown told me to “eat what looks good to you” and I did that. I also developed my once a day nutrition shake to make sure all the bases were covered.
I took advantage of every resource. My colleagues gave me massage weekly (I remain so grateful for this!), I received acupuncture, and I had a Healing Partner who provided Healing Touch for me every week for 6 months.
I wanted to be sure I was really showing up for all this. I wanted my whole being to know that I was engaged in my life, that I was passionate about it. I took advantage of the counseling that was available at Healing with Hope. I blogged like mad at Caringbridge, and celebrated life. I painted my room purple.
Do you have to do all this to weather the chemo storm?
No, not at all. Do it the way you do it. Just keep three things in mind, if they seem good to you.
1. Use all the medications they give you to be comfortable. This is not the time to be stoic! A comfortable body heals better and faster.
2. Do the things you really love with the energy you have. That way you actually get some.
3. Let people help. It blesses them just as much as it blesses you, if not even more.
If this is you right now, know that my thoughts are with you, and you will get through it!
That is the question… Is it more important to stay on the straight and narrow with diet, exercise, good health habits etc. or do you get to goof off because that is good for your soul? I think that a balance between the two is essential. All work and no play makes Elizabeth a dull [...]
That is the question…
Is it more important to stay on the straight and narrow with diet, exercise, good health habits etc. or do you get to goof off because that is good for your soul?
I think that a balance between the two is essential. All work and no play makes Elizabeth a dull girl. When the three tween girls who have been negotiating their spoil bring me some, I am delighted. Reese’s peanut butter cups, yum!
Sometimes people ask me, “did your cancer diagnosis make you change your diet?” Of course the implication was that it was probably rotten before. Actually, it wasn’t. One of the toughest parts of living another woman’s nightmare is that she wants to make sure it will not happen to her, so she has to figure out what I did wrong so she can reassure herself that she is safe. That’s a whole different topic for another day!
Back to straight and narrow…
How is it that some folks do everything right, eat very well, exercise, practice yoga, meditate, don’t eat red meat, drink moderately if at all and still get cancer? Others do all the wrong things and live to be 90. Go figure!
Yesterday I saw a video of the oldest concentration camp survivor, named Alice. She’s a pianist. She is 107 years old. She survived because she was a famous concert pianist, and the prisoners who could make music had something to offer their captors. What struck me most about her was that she is happy. She plays the piano every day, still.
How much health value does happiness provide? How do you break down food made with love into bad or good?
Obviously I don’t go crazy on red meat or skimp on vegetables. I walk most days. I tend to my health. The most important thing about that is the message I send to my soul. I strengthen the connection between body, mind and spirit by being committed to caring for me. This is self care from love, not fear.
If I am terrified of an occasional hamburger, or if I am awake nights because I ate a peanut butter cup, then my self care is motivated by fear. Fear is hard on the body and weakens it. Love strengthens it.
When I was very sick, one of the nurses I worked with organized a food delivery sign-up so that I would not have to prepare food for my family. I never worried about whether that food was vegetarian, how much fat was in it, or anything else. I was so grateful to other people for showing they cared in this way. We ate it all, with gratitude. Gratitude is the best nutrition there is.
This Halloween eve, as I sat in the kitchen drinking tea with my friend, I got such a kick out of those girls negotiating for their favorite candy. When all three of them came and plopped a bunch of peanut butter cups in front of me I was delighted, not so much about the candy, but by the spirit in which it was given.
So, I continue to be committed to my health, my happiness, my art, my dear husband and children, and to bold, outrageous naughtiness whenever I get those special opportunities.
Here’s to your naughtiness this Halloween!
About The LIberation of Persephone/ElizabethElizabeth Danu started this blog to provide a postive and useful resource for people facing cancer and thier loved ones. She is now a ten year survivor of Stage IIIC Inflammatory Breast cancer, enjoying her post-cancer life as a mom, blogger, speaker, wellness consultant and unquenchable optimist. She also sings and performs regularly with her a capella quartet, Curious Blend.
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DO NOT DUPLICATEAll text and art found on these pages belong to Elizabeth Danu, Copyright 2008 - 2014 unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use of any material on this site is strictly prohibited. For permission to use anything presented here, please contact me directly. Elizabeth Danu
Disclosure:My intention with this website is to provide an oasis of hope for those facing a fierce diagnosis. Any proceeds from this site go towards building this resource and for breast cancer research, particularly directed towards Deadline 2020 for the end of breast cancer. Blessings, Elizabeth
My bedside companion in 2007
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